Thursday, April 16, 2009

Tips for the Heartbroken

Yahoo! Personals' Breakup Survival Guide

It's a familiar story -- the two of you meet, become inseparable and fall in love...but then the tables turn and one of you wants out. At that moment, things get complicated and questions begin to arise: How do I tell this person? What will happen after the breakup? We've compiled some tried-and-true ways to weather the emotional storm:
Tip 1: Behave badly. Don't try to be brave. Don't pretend it's OK. Scream, shout, eat badly. For once, you've got permission. Therapists say the sooner you hit bottom, the sooner you'll feel better.
Survey* says:

* It's OK to be upset at work." Almost half of respondents confided in a co-worker after a breakup, and more than one-third have cried at work because of a breakup.

Tip 2: This person is now out of your life. Period. DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT, call your ex. It's like Chutes and Ladders. One call and you're back at the bottom again. We're all weak-willed, particularly when it comes to people who've broken our hearts. You need to get serious about this. You need a contract. Try this:
The "No-Contact" Contract
I hereby pledge that I will not prolong my anguish by attempting to contact my ex or orchestrate any elaborate "accidental" meeting with him or her. My healing has now begun, and I will avoid reopening those wounds like I would avoid a bear trap in the woods. By "contacting my ex," I mean every single form of communication, from IM, to chat boards, to friends passing messages, to sending smoke signals from yonder mountain. I will not call or write, I will not try to reach him/her through the spirit world and I will not think about my ex. OK, I probably will think about my ex... quite a bit, in fact. But I promise that this phenomenon will diminish over time.
Signed: (Your Name Here)
Dated: (Today's Date Here)

Tip 3: Life is short. Make it good for you. Is there something you've always wanted to try but haven't? Then make the time to do it now. Better yet, pick something your ex NEVER wanted to try (or never would let you try). It'll take your mind off things, reintroduce fun into your life and help you break unproductive thought patterns. Run away on a vacation. Join a gym.
“Despite all that comfort eating, many people lose weight while grieving.”
Despite all that comfort eating, many people lose weight while grieving. Rejoice! Try a little retail therapy.
Survey* says:

* "Immerse yourself in your work" and "go on vacation" were the top selections for what respondents would do just after a breakup (59 percent and 45 percent, respectively).
* Chocolate and ice cream received more than 50 percent of the votes as the kind of comfort foods that would be sought out by respondents as the result of a breakup.

Tip 4: Get back in the saddle. Avoid super-quick rebounds, but don't make excuses for not getting out there and meeting new people. Not every coffee date needs to be "the one." Browsing online through Yahoo! Personals will cheer you up by showing you how many new options there are.

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