Saturday, July 18, 2009

Dating Tips: Visual Deal-Breakers for Daters

4 elements of your appearance to work on to stay dateable

A few weeks back I had a great time working on an upcoming "Man in the Street" feature for Marie Claire. We asked women what makes a guy dating material, and the most common answer was: someone who has it together, and has goals and ambitions.
"Having it together" goes beyond the mental aspect. I've realized that women can take one look at me and size me up as someone who doesn't have it together, and may have no ambition. My disheveled appearance could stand some adjustments.
More Dating Articles from Marie Claire:

* 10 First Date Mistakes
* What The Guys I Date Don't Know

Here are some elements that I should work on to look more "together":
#1 Dating Element: Posture
I walk around as if I'm auditioning for the lead role in a Nosferatu remake. My shoulders are rolled forward, and I'm hunched over. I can't tell whether I'm tired, too relaxed, or what. But there's one thing I do know, women like tall guys. I'm cheating myself with my bad posture. If I stand up straight, I'm 5'11" (well, 5'10 and .99999999 inches); nothing to write home about, but it is over the average for the American male (5'9"). I should take advantage of anything above average about me. Standing up straight will also make me look more confident.
#2 Dating Element: Holes
You've read about the moth holes in my clothes, but there are other places where holes pop up. Assuming that women don't notice my shoes is naive, considering their love of all things shoe-related. I get everything I can out of a pair of sneakers. Plus, I'm too lazy to go out and buy new ones. My current sneakers are literally wearing away to nothingness. I could act as a visual aid for one of those old guys telling stories about the Great Depression: "In my day we used cardboard boxes for shoes." My friend Margaret, the other day, stuck her finger into the bottom of my shoe and struck foot! She declared that my porous shoes were responsible for my bad luck with the ladies. If only it were that simple...
#3 Dating Element: Hair
This "hair" refers to cat hair. You know you're in trouble when someone takes a look at you and asks, "Do you have a cat?" I'm always running late, so I don't have time to apply the lint roller before I leave my apartment. Cat hair has a mind of its own and silently floats around and attaches itself to important spots on clothing.
#4 Dating Element: Fingernails
I chew my fingernails to the hilt. In addition to being a dirty habit, it makes my hands look terrible. My fingernails are so low that people sometimes cringe when they look at them and ask me how bad it hurts. We all know I'm an anxious person, but wearing that anxiety on the outside in the form of jagged, bleeding fingernails is not going to attract many women. I've been trying to kick the habit for awhile, and when I do maybe I'll look like I have my life together more... or at least I'll look like I'm not eternally nervous.
It never occurred to me that women might see me and think I don't care how I look, and then make the connection to me not caring how my apartment looks, and not caring about my life goals and aspirations. I've let my apathetic attitude permeate my appearance, and that's not good.
Things are going to change. The other day, Margaret forced me to buy a wallet. So, I'm no longer walking around with random cards in my pockets and misplacing certain cards. The wallet is a symbol for me pulling it together. As Margaret says, "No girl likes it when a guy buys them a dinner with a balled-up wad of bills."

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